The Best Way To Get Over a Breakup Part 3

I’m life coach and counselor Peter Winslow. In this series of posts your assignment was to write a short story about your past relationship from beginning to end, and then close the story on a high note.

The next step is to make a list of “reminders.” One of the best strategies to seal the closure is to make a list of all the reasons your ex was not the right one for you. If you’re having a hard time letting go, this is the thing to do. And it’s okay to be a bit ruthless—now is not the time for namby-pamby, wishy-washy sentiments.

Look at your story for guidance. List the hurtful things you wrote about (and others that you forgot to include in the story) and how they made you feel, being absolutely clear about those things you never intend to feel again. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt and be stone-cold honest about what it was like to go through those events.

Imagine that these things had happened to a dear and trusted friend of yours. How would you feel about it? What would you say to them? Now ask yourself “Why would I ever put myself through that again?”

When you come to a moment of weakness, remember your list of reminders. Pull it out, read it through, and remember exactly why the relationship had to end. It simply had to dissolve, because you deserve better than that.

Before you know it, the relationship that once bedeviled you will be left right where it belongs—in the distant past. You will soon agree that it was all for the good, because it all contributed greatly to your own personal growth.

– Peter Winslow

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The Law of Emergence – Part Three

I’m life coach Peter Winslow. In the last few posts I’ve written about the Law of Emergence, which comes to us from New Thought leader and life coach Derek Rydall.

This amazing principle outlines an intuitive practice for experiencing the fullest and most gratifying life you can imagine. How?

Instead of working to become worthy of the relationships and possessions you want, the Law of Emergence says that you are already good enough to claim anything and everything your heart desires.

If you are familiar with the teachings of spiritual sage Eckhart Tolle, you will recognize Derek’s message as perfectly supporting what you have already learned about how life works.

Both men agree that we are aligned with what we already have; we already own it “in spirit.” In fact, it’s the erroneous belief that we do not already own or even deserve the things we desire which keeps them from us.

The solution is to get our critical cognitive mind (the ego) out of the way and proceed with our goals intuitively. We do this by replacing the limiting beliefs, fears and misunderstandings about who we are with a different mindset and mentality.

How to do that, you may ask?

Begin by changing your language—a very simple and tremendously effective practice. First, stop talking about what’s happening in your world that you interpret as “negative.” Second and perhaps most importantly, stop looking for the reasons “why” your dream isn’t happening the way you want it to, and realize that on the negative side, the “why’s” are often irrelevant. Things just happen sometimes.

Third, let the “negative” stuff pass through as if it is trash floating on a river, and stay focused on navigating where your river is taking you. Ignore the “debris” you discover along the way as it rushes by. You can’t direct the outcome and destination of your vessel when you are focused on the debris—the so-called “negatives” of life.

Next we’ll see exactly why this practice delivers amazing results, more quickly and easily than anything you’ve done before.

–Peter Winslow

 

The Law of Emergence – Part Two

I’m life coach Peter Winslow. From the previous post you may remember life coach Derek Rydall’s description of the Law of Emergence:

“People may have told you that if you haven’t gotten what you want in life, you need new tools and techniques for self-improvement. Yet nothing could be farther from the truth, according to the Law of Emergence.

This towering principle states that trying to improve yourself will only delay fulfillment of your desire. Self-improvement is merely an illusion, a red herring, because the Self as it is, is fully complete.

Your talents, abilities and circumstances may improve, but who you are at your core is already perfect. And just as an acorn contains the mighty oak tree within its shell, you already have everything necessary to fulfill your destiny.”

Unfortunately, most people have been led to believe otherwise. Nearly everybody sees themselves as lacking in some way, victims of circumstance, beholden to conditions in the outside world which determine what they will receive in life.

Derek teaches to imagine yourself as a seed. Within the seed is your destiny, and your first mission is to cultivate the conditions which allow it to flow in harmony.

When you realize this inner harmony as an intrinsic part of who you are, no limitations in the material world can stop your “inner oak tree” from emerging to fulfill its unique perfection.

Rydall writes that: “…As we tap into our larger Self, we will create opportunity, relations, and wealth ‘out there’ — but what is really happening is a greater manifestation of the inner Self.”

The Law of Emergence – Part One

I’m Peter Winslow. As a life coach in private practice I’ve counseled a lot of people on what it takes to be authentically healthy and abundant. Most people I meet who haven’t achieved what they want in life feel that some form of self-improvement is what they most need.

Not so, according to life coach Derek Rydall, coiner of the “Law of Emergence.” His principle maintains that believing you need to improve yourself is the biggest block to your fulfillment.

Derek says that a belief in so-called “self-improvement” only leads to a feeling that we’re somehow broken, or that we are less than we really are.

So “self-improvement” is an illusion, a pernicious misconception, because the Self is already perfect, whole and complete. You may seek to improve your talents, abilities and circumstances, but at your core you are perfect as you are, and as you are becoming.

The Law of Emergence maintains that just as an acorn conceals the mighty oak tree within it, your true Self contains its own highest purpose. In time, that purpose will emerge organically, and more powerfully than you have so far imagined.

Seeking self-improvement is misguided folly that can breed feelings of inadequacy—which then require even more “self-improvement.” It becomes a vicious cycle, like trying to dig one’s way out of a deeper and deeper hole.

1536-12492745612RynIf an acorn could think, would it try to be good enough to become what it already is—the mighty oak? And how about the caterpillar? Should it strive to look prettier so it can become a beautiful butterfly?

It’s time you knew that, like the acorn and the caterpillar, you already have everything you need to be the ideal you. And this awareness, this quality of being, is what will determine the quality of your life. –Peter Winslow