My gosh, does it really have to hurt so much?
I’m life coach and counselor Peter Winslow, and I know how you feel. When my long-term relationship ended, I wanted to move through the pain and get on with my life as quickly as possible.
In this series of posts I’ll give you the best formula to deal with the situation, put it behind you in an expedient manner, and become better and stronger for the experience.
Take the steps I recommend and you’ll soon be open to attract (and keep!) the partner you really want and deserve. Here are the powerful steps to take for healing to begin.
Step One: Write a Story
If you’re anything like me, you could write at least one book about how you feel at this point in your life. But did you know writing your experiences down can really help you get past the pain in record time? No need to write a whole thesis; a little bit goes along way. Just think of it as cheap therapy.
Here’s what to do: Think about when your relationship first began. What was the scene, the setting, and the mood of the meeting? Document that meeting thoroughly, and then proceed to journal the events of your relationship from the very beginning to the very end.
At first it might seem challenging—maybe even painful—but this exercise can serve to give you a broader perspective on who you were at the time, and who you thought you were dealing with in a partner.
When you come to the close of the story, be sure to finish it on a positive note. Impossible? Not really. You may have to dig a little deeper into your memory, but when you do you’ll find there is at least one thing of value that came from the experience, and that’s what you want to focus on. Let that be the last sentence in your memoir, and then after you have written it down, write in big, bold letters: “THE END”
If you wrote it in a notebook, shut it forcefully. Take a deep breath and put the notebook away where you will not easily see it. If you wrote on loose papers, fold them up quickly and seal them away in an envelope. Put that envelope in a place where it will not be seen until you are ready to take the next step in the process.
The action of writing down the sequential events of your relationship, and then “closing the book on it” can provide you with relief in more ways than one. Emotional closure is your goal, and you are now one giant step closer to it.
– Peter Winslow