The Best Way To Get Over a Breakup

My gosh, does it really have to hurt so much?

I’m life coach and counselor Peter Winslow, and I know how you feel. When my long-term relationship ended, I wanted to move through the pain and get on with my life as quickly as possible.

In this series of posts I’ll give you the best formula to deal with the situation, put it behind you in an expedient manner, and become better and stronger for the experience.

Take the steps I recommend and you’ll soon be open to attract (and keep!) the partner you really want and deserve. Here are the powerful steps to take for healing to begin.

Step One: Write a Story

If you’re anything like me, you could write at least one book about how you feel at this point in your life. But did you know writing your experiences down can really help you get past the pain in record time? No need to write a whole thesis; a little bit goes along way. Just think of it as cheap therapy.

Here’s what to do: Think about when your relationship first began. What was the scene, the setting, and the mood of the meeting? Document that meeting thoroughly, and then proceed to journal the events of your relationship from the very beginning to the very end.

At first it might seem challenging—maybe even painful—but this exercise can serve to give you a broader perspective on who you were at the time, and who you thought you were dealing with in a partner.

When you come to the close of the story, be sure to finish it on a positive note. Impossible? Not really. You may have to dig a little deeper into your memory, but when you do you’ll find there is at least one thing of value that came from the experience, and that’s what you want to focus on. Let that be the last sentence in your memoir, and then after you have written it down, write in big, bold letters: “THE END”

If you wrote it in a notebook, shut it forcefully. Take a deep breath and put the notebook away where you will not easily see it. If you wrote on loose papers, fold them up quickly and seal them away in an envelope. Put that envelope in a place where it will not be seen until you are ready to take the next step in the process.

The action of writing down the sequential events of your relationship, and then “closing the book on it” can provide you with relief in more ways than one. Emotional closure is your goal, and you are now one giant step closer to it.

– Peter Winslow

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Meditation: A Proven Method for Stress Reduction

I’m life coach and counselor Peter Winslow. When you hear the word “meditation” does it conjure up visions of weird people in flowing robes, eating nuts and berries or chanting strange and eerie tones? Then you might be surprised to learn that no matter who you are, meditation is something you already do on a regular basis.

Ever watch television and lose track of the people in the room around you? Drive a car and lose your memory of the last five miles? Take a nature hike and lose yourself in the grandeur of your surroundings? These are all forms of meditation.

Meditation occurs when we direct the mind and body into a single purpose, the so-called “zone” that athletes refer to. You can “zone” in on anything from relaxation, peace of mind, and health issues to meaningful relationships, financial success, and personal goals.

Some types of meditative practices are great for dropping bad habits like overeating or smoking, and establishing new patterns of behavior like self-care and proper exercise. Yet most people are constantly meditating on their fears and insecurities, and don’t even know it. This type of stress keeps them from decompressing effectively or getting adequate rest.

The most widely practiced, most well researched, and most effective method of self-development is called Transcendental Meditation, or TM. This is a simple, natural, effortless procedure practiced 20 minutes twice a day while sitting comfortably with your eyes closed. It allows the mind to settle inward beyond thoughts to the source of thought, which is pure awareness. In this state of restful alertness, your brain functions with significantly greater coherence and your body rests more deeply than when you are actually asleep.

–Peter Winslow

Law of Emergence – Part Four

Hello I’m Peter Winslow, a life coach and counselor in Scottsdale AZ. We’ve been discussing the Law of Emergence, a superior realization of how to get what you want in life. It comes to us from life coach and New Thought philosopher Derek Rydall.

We looked at how to apply this law to achieve your dreams step by step, beginning here: first, change your language, and stop talking about what is “negative” in your world. Second and most importantly, stop looking at “why” your dream isn’t happening. It may feel counterintuitive, but that is what often blocks you—the search for (and focus on) what is holding you back.

Third, let all the “negative” stuff pass you by like flotsam on a river, and instead stay focused on navigating where that river is taking you. Give 100% of your attention to what you desire, and 0% to what you don’t.

More than an exercise, it’s a way of life—one which replaces any dogma that demands you must work hard to improve yourself before you can have your goals and dreams. While hard work has its reward, it is just not enough. For example, you can dig ditches 12 hours a day for years, fill them back in, and never reach a satisfying conclusion.

In many cases hard labor is counter-productive as it keeps you myopically bound to the toil at hand, unable to recognize the many hidden opportunities that pop up all around you—which then get picked up and taken advantage of by more open-minded adventurers.

The Law of Emergence entails a deep realization that replaces any inferior concept of who you are. Make this breathtaking breakthrough and you simply cannot return to any worn-out belief that somehow in some way, “I am not enough” and so must work harder and harder to “earn” your success.

You are not just a physical body; you are a mix of elements and energy operating in a quantum field. This realization combines inner harmony with outer order, and activates the Law of Emergence in very powerful ways.

When you finally get it, nothing can stand between you and whatsoever you would have, and be.

–Peter Winslow

The Law of Emergence – Part Three

I’m life coach Peter Winslow. In the last few posts I’ve written about the Law of Emergence, which comes to us from New Thought leader and life coach Derek Rydall.

This amazing principle outlines an intuitive practice for experiencing the fullest and most gratifying life you can imagine. How?

Instead of working to become worthy of the relationships and possessions you want, the Law of Emergence says that you are already good enough to claim anything and everything your heart desires.

If you are familiar with the teachings of spiritual sage Eckhart Tolle, you will recognize Derek’s message as perfectly supporting what you have already learned about how life works.

Both men agree that we are aligned with what we already have; we already own it “in spirit.” In fact, it’s the erroneous belief that we do not already own or even deserve the things we desire which keeps them from us.

The solution is to get our critical cognitive mind (the ego) out of the way and proceed with our goals intuitively. We do this by replacing the limiting beliefs, fears and misunderstandings about who we are with a different mindset and mentality.

How to do that, you may ask?

Begin by changing your language—a very simple and tremendously effective practice. First, stop talking about what’s happening in your world that you interpret as “negative.” Second and perhaps most importantly, stop looking for the reasons “why” your dream isn’t happening the way you want it to, and realize that on the negative side, the “why’s” are often irrelevant. Things just happen sometimes.

Third, let the “negative” stuff pass through as if it is trash floating on a river, and stay focused on navigating where your river is taking you. Ignore the “debris” you discover along the way as it rushes by. You can’t direct the outcome and destination of your vessel when you are focused on the debris—the so-called “negatives” of life.

Next we’ll see exactly why this practice delivers amazing results, more quickly and easily than anything you’ve done before.

–Peter Winslow